I had the privilege to spend some time with my beautiful friend Leah last weekend and equally beautiful daughter Lauren. Like Heidi, Leah is an amazing writer…her words flow straight from the heart. I thought there would be no one better to write this post about her sweet, sweet girl, than Leah herself. Grab a tissue…you’ll need it.
“A mother holds her child’s hand for a short while, but holds their heart forever”-Unknown
I cannot begin to explain how priceless these photos will always be to me. You see, the young lady in these photos just happens to be my world, my God-given miracle. It seems like just yesterday she was being placed in my arms for the very first time. At that very moment, my life was forever changed. I cannot truly remember my existence before her. She is such a part of my identity. Sometimes on a soccer field, I am only known as “Lauren’s mom.” For so many years, she has been attached at my hip, and will forever remain attached to my heart. I am reaching an unfamiliar part of motherhood, that all parents must face; letting go. I find myself wishing for some “day do-overs.” I long once again to hear baby-coos and lullabies. I long to hear “snuggle me mommy,” or to feel the sweetness of just one more Eskimo kiss. I tell myself I just need a little more time. I want more videos and I should have taken more pictures. My little girl is growing up. I just didn’t realize it would happen in one summer season. I think this photo shoot was a gift for me to one last time dress her up, and see one last glimpse of her innocence.
It is funny that as I view these photos, I see so much of what I wish for her. I want her to always find peace in God’s beautiful creation that surrounds her in these photos. I hope she will always be stilled by beautiful sunsets, sand in her toes, and endless meadows of green grass. Like the sunlight in these photos, may HIS LIGHT always shine down on her paths, and even on her hardest days may she always find one reason to smile. I want her to be a free spirit, with her worries light, carrying only her Boho baggage. I hope she doesn’t take herself or life too seriously, and always finds enough time to stop and smell the flowers. And whether it’s wearing a floppy hat or quirky socks, she must always be herself. There is so much freedom in living with that kind of truth.
I look into those big, brown eyes and I feel a love that goes way beyond any wrong she could ever do. It is unconditional. That is why this photo session in particular is so special to me. It reminds of what a special gift I have been given. I am in awe that the GOOD LORD entrusted plain ole’ me to love her. HE allowed me this one last moment. I was blessed with a beautiful day, and an extraordinary photographer to capture it all. She shared with us this sweet green grass and discovered magical pathways to take these amazing shots. She gave me all that I envisioned and then some. She must have had a silent understanding of just what I needed. But after all, she is a mother herself.
When I enter my home, and see these photos that grace my walls, they will remind me of just how blessed I truly am. They will remind me to slow down and get to know this unique young lady in a whole new way. I am torn. I can’t wait to see the remarkable things she will do and all she will become, but I know she may face things that my band-aids won’t fix anymore. I feel a peace that can only come from above. After all, HE loved her first, and HE will give me the strength and the guidance through this next phase. I look forward to many more memories: proms, graduations, wedding days, and numerous photo shoots. But until then, I have this gift. I will always hold these photos dear to my heart. Changes will come and seasons will go, but one thing remains I will always be “Lauren’s mom.”